Friday, January 06, 2006

Tis the New Year

Been taking a well-deserved break for a while, doing the Christmas "thang" and celebrating the new year in a new home (well, new to us) with my family. I received way more wonderful gifts than I bought, so I guess I cleaned up. Then, I literally cleaned up, banishing the final cardboard moving boxes in the house to the recycle bin.

While going through old Christmas cards to look for addresses to send out our annual (well, occasionally annual) family newsletter, I came across a priceless card from a friend that I will always treasure as one of the best gifts I ever got. It is a list of "10 Things to Say about a Christmas Gift that You Don't Like." I believe the material was original (knowing my friend's sense of humor), so I thought I'd shamelessly steal from him, and post his list on this site. Let me caveat this by saying I didn't find the need to repeat anything from this list at Christmas this year--all my gifts, yes, each and every heartfelt one of them, was thoughtful, beautiful, and/or useful to the extreme. I appreciated and/or loved them all.

Now, with full credits to Barry Merrill, and apologies to David Letterman, on to the sarcasm:

10 Things to Say about a Christmas Gift that You Don't Like.

10. Hey! There's a gift!
9. Well, well, well...
8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would've fit.
7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.
6. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season, though. There are lots of unexplained fires.
5. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
4. I love it - but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.
2. To think - I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

And the Number One Thing to Say about a Christmas Gift You Don't Like:
1. "I really don't deserve this."

Hope you had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!



K.A.S. said...

I really could have used this about 2 weeks ago :)
Thanks for sharing!

Cara King said...

Funny, Thieme!

Other ones that sometimes work too:

It's so colorful!

Wow! I've never seen anything like this before!

I . . . I'm speechless.

Oh, I love it!!!!! But wouldn't you know, someone else just got me one. Do you have a gift receipt?

Oh good! My cat loves to eat these.


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