Thursday, August 11, 2005

Stop me before I apply again!

Well, I just spent several confused hours attempting to apply for a government job through one of those online websites for which our taxes pay. Either we're not paying enough, or I'm just stupid (which is, of course, always a distinct possibility), because that was harder than giving birth. At least I had a set of twins to show for it when they laid me out on that metal slab in the operating room 7 years ago (C-Section). I haven't a clue whether my on line questionnaire (all 156 questions...or maybe it was the one with 27 questions...) and resume actually made it to their intended destinations.

You know, I used to work for the government about five or six years ago. I remember some of those people. Many of them were bright, intelligent, happy people who could do Algebra and everything. But many of them were...you know...government employees. How on earth did they get those jobs if this is the process they had to use to apply?!?

Let's face it: I have two degrees, I have written three books, I have raised fairly normal children (so far), taught hundreds of college level freshman how to write, led seminars and workshops with CEOs of Fortune 500 hundred companies...and it took me ALL DAY to complete the #*&@# on line application form. You tell me, how the heck does one answer a question like this:

Q: "When you completed computer classes in high school, did you usually receive a grade of B or better? Answer only yes or no."

A: "Well...uh...when I was in high school, they didn't actually offer computer classes. Not that it was that long ago, you understand, but they just didn't have them then. I would have gotten a B or better if they had, though, I bet. I'm pretty smart and all. I can do Word and Power Point like you wouldn't believe, and I manage Excel when I have to, and can stumble blindly through Adobe Photoshop and produce a reasonable facsimile of what I want. I did take computer classes outside of high school, but they don't grade those A - F, because it was for work, you know. I'm tired. I want to go home. What's the criminal penalty for guessing wrong on this question again?"

TJB

3 comments:

TSJ said...

So, like, I'm the computer person of the family, and I've only just now noticed that one can make comments on here! Sheesh....color me embarassed.

Great blogs, sis!

Shesawriter said...

I once tried to apply for a G job and got so flustered with all the paperwork, I said the H*ll with it. And now with Homeland Security regulations, I'm sure the paperwork has tripled.

Tanya

TJ Bennett said...

I think if you can complete the paperwork, they ought to give you the job. Period. :)