A Romance Ad I'd Like to See

[Setting: An office, at the center of a cubical farm. A nice-looking man in his mid-30s, John, wearing dark slacks, white dress shirt, no tie, sleeves rolled up, sits at one of the desks with his nose in a romance novel, obviously on a break. Two of his male co-workers enter, spot him, and start rolling their eyes.]

Co-worker #1 (plopping down on John’s desk): You gotta be kidding me. John, what are you doing?

John (not lifting his eyes): I’m reading. What’s it look like?

Co-worker #2 (grabbing the book and staring disdainfully at the cover): Yeah, but…but, dude, that’s one of those—those chick porn books.

John (as he takes back the book): Called a romance, dude. Either of you ever read one?

Co-worker #1: No way. No how, man. I wouldn’t be caught dead reading one of those things. (Shudders) Put it away, John, you’re gonna get a rep.

[John just shrugs and continues reading as the guys tease him mercilessly, calling him names like “Girly-man” and reenacting old soap opera dialogue like, “Oh, John!” “Oh, Marsha!” with lots more eye-rolling, heaving bosoms, and chest clutching. John just glances at them and smiles, then shakes his head and goes back to his reading. They are interrupted when John’s desk phone rings and he picks it up.]

John (speaking into the phone): Oh, hi, honey. (He gestures in a way that indicates he’s talking about the book in his hand, and his voice drops into a hungry growl) Yeah, I'm reading it.

[John smiles slowly as he listens to the voice of his wife on the phone, then he grins outright, obviously liking what he hears.]

John: Am I coming home for lunch today? You bet. Leave the door unlocked for me, would you, babe? Something tells me I’ll be in a hurry.

[John hangs up his phone, then gives the other guys a smug look as he goes back to reading his book. John’s friends stare at him, then look at one another over his head for a long beat.]

Co-worker #1 (as co-worker #2 reaches for the book): So, uh, dude. What’s the name of that book, again?