Friday, December 15, 2006

THE CALL

Recently, I realized my long held dream to be a published author. I gave a brief speech on the topic to my writer’s group in Los Angeles. Many people told me they were both moved and inspired, for which I am grateful. I thought I’d post it here, because it says everything on the topic I could hope to say. ~TJB

I have wanted to be a writer since I was eight years old. I wrote my first story then, about a horse named Spirit, well before Disney contemplated the same. It wasn’t half bad, and was well received by my first audience, my family. I forgot that dream for awhile, however, and parted company with writing for a time. Like most girls, I became preoccupied with the business of growing up. Going to school, getting a job, and starting a family were all more important then writing a story or a poem or two.

But somewhere, in the back of my mind, the dream lingered on. Six years ago, it finally demanded its share of my attention, and I wrote my first novel, The Legacy, a historical romance set in the rather exotic locale of early reformation Germany.

(*shrugs*)

What did I know?

Nothing then, obviously, not about writing or the romance market. But while browsing in my husband’s eclectic library one day, I came across the story of Martin Luther, the reforming priest, and his wife. The story told of how, in the early 16th century, a dozen nuns escaped a convent and fled to Martin Luther’s doorstep during the early days of the Protestant Reformation. Luther found himself faced with the task of finding homes and husbands for all twelve nuns, and eventually married the twelfth one himself because she would settle for no one else. Their love story became one of the great marriages of history, but it got me thinking: What about the other nuns? What happened to them? Therein, as they say, lies a tale, and The Legacy was born.

I made all my mistakes on that damn book. Writing was hard, and when I didn’t know how to do something, I turned to books about writing. When that wasn’t enough, I joined RWA and learned everything I could. Slowly, somehow, my book, and my writing career became "The Little Engine That Could."

Almost everyone is familiar with that old children’s story. The upshot of that tale, variously attributed to Mabel C. Bragg and Mary C. Jacobs, is that when all the bigger trains were asked to pull a huge load over a high mountain, they made excuses that the load was too big and the job was too hard. The little engine took the job, however, and instead of saying it couldn’t be done, asked herself how she could go about doing such a difficult job. Despite the fact that she may not have been as strong, despite the naysayers who claimed she wasn’t as talented or as skilled as the other engines, she took that big load over that high mountain, saying “I think I can, I think I can!” Well, I kinda felt like that with this book.

The trip up the mountainside has taken a long time. Four books and six years later, I’m just beginning to see the top. When the climb got hard, I had to pile on more coal, work harder, and convince myself to go on. Sometimes, I needed a push from others who believed in me: my sister, my writing friends. Sometimes, I went on alone.

Sometimes, I admit, I even stopped for a while, believing it was just too hard to go on. In fact, I had decided to quit for good after a very traumatic year and a half in which my husband lost his job, I left my beloved Los Angeles for the wilds of Texas, and my mom grew very ill, eventually passing away just weeks ago. One day, after completing my fourth book; after round after round of rejections on my third--a Golden Heart finalist for which I had high hopes; after hearing yet another agent say no; and after reading yet another “good” rejection letter from yet another editor, I had decided enough was enough. After losing my mother, so many things seemed inconsequential. Why was I wasting my time sitting at a computer, making up stories that were important, but not real? I decided I needed, once and for all, to walk away from my dream.

That was on a Sunday.

On Monday morning, I got The Call. Medallion Press’s author liaison telephoned, hinting broadly that they were very interested in my work and would I be home for a while, and could I send them my long synopsis electronically. “Sure,” I said. (After all, I’m not stupid.) That afternoon, the president of Medallion Press called and said, “I love this book, and I would really love to buy it.”

That day taught me an important lesson, one I’d like to share with you now. When you have a dream--one that fills your soul and expands your mind, one that won’t let you sleep at night and drives you crazy when you’re awake--God won’t let you walk away from it, even if you want to. He put it there. It belongs to you, and the only choice you have is to live it or not.

I think it is appropriate that the book of my heart is the one that sold first. It was the only one my mother ever had a chance to read. It may be the only book I ever sell, but I don’t believe that, because I will forever be reminded of the moral of "The Little Engine that Could." I quote:

“To think of hard things and say, ‘I can’t’ is sure to mean ‘Nothing done.’ To refuse to be daunted and insist on saying, ‘I think I can,’ is to make sure of being able to say triumphantly, by and by, ‘I thought I could, I thought I could.’”

For those of you chugging up your own personal mountainsides...

I think you can, too.

TJB

Monday, November 20, 2006

Am I an idiot, or is it just You?

I called a parcel pickup service today, (which shall remain nameless but their initials are D-H-L) to pick up a parcel from my home. Here is the text of our conversation, loosely transcribed:

Me: [after punching in the various numbers to access a real live customer support person] I have a package for pickup.

Them: Okay, great. Will we be picking up from a residence or business today?

Me: A home.

Them: May I have the address please?

Me: [I give them the pickup address]

Them: What is a the best time to pick up that package, ma'am?

Me: Well, it has to be some time before 2:30 this afternoon. I won't be here otherwise.

Them: Very well. We can pick up that package at 3:00pm. Will that be all right?

Me: [Pausing] Well, that won't work, because I won't be here.

Them: Okay, is there a better time?

Me: [Clearing throat] It doesn't really matter, as long as it's before 2:30pm.

Them: Three o'clock should work for you then.

Me: [Longer pause] Well, that would be after 2:30, and I need it to be picked up before that. So, no, 3:00 won't work.

Them: But you said not before 2:30, right?

Me: [Gritting teeth] No. Not after 2:30, before 2:30. So you can see how 3:00 wouldn't work for me.

Them: We can pick up your package at 2:00pm. Would that work better for you?

Me: [Unclenching teeth in a desperate attempt to stay polite] Yes, seeing as how that's before 2:30, that would work just fine.

Them: Okay. Is there anything else we can help you with?

Me: No, I think you've done enough for one day. Thanks. [Hangs up and curls into a fetal position on the floor, wondering for the future of all humanity]


And don't get me started on the USPS, who managed to lose a priority mail package that was to be delivered ONE STATE OVER and has yet to make it to its destination. Of course, you can call and ask what happened, but that just makes them laugh. Just for fun, let's replay THAT conversation:

Them: United States Post Office, how can I help you?

Me: I'm trying to track down an important package I sent Priority Mail with Delivery Confirmation. I sent it with another package at the same time. I checked the status of both on-line. The other one got delivered, but the records for this one haven't been updated yet and I'm wondering if it made it to its final destination.

Them: Let me check on that. [Puts me on hold while she checks the same on-line system I just got through checking] I'm sorry, ma'am, there is no record of that being delivered yet.

Me: Yes, I know. I wondered why.

Them: I have no way of knowing that. We can't actually track that package.

Me: Okay, but it is Priority Mail. Doesn't that mean you usually try to deliver it within 2-3 days?

Them: Yes, that's right.

Me: Well, it's been six, and the package hasn't been delivered yet. Why might that be?

Them: I have no way of knowing that. We don't guarantee that the package will be there on any particular day.

Me: So, what you're saying is, you kinda try to get it there on time, but if it doesn't make it, "whoops, too bad for you"?

Them: Ma'am, priority mail is NOT guaranteed.

Me: I'm beginning to see that. And you also have no way of knowing that if it didn't get there, what happened to it, like maybe the postal worker carrying my package went on strike, or pitched my mail in the trash after he got mad at his boss, or whatever.

Them: As I said, ma'am, priority mail is NOT guaranteed. You have to understand that. If you want us to be able to track it, you need to use Express Mail.

Me: So, despite the fact that you sell this product for more money, and claim in your advertising that you'll take extra care with my package to get it there 2-3 days after I mail it, what really happens is it just goes into the big bin with all the other mail pieces, and if you lose it, I get scolded for not spending even MORE money to make sure that your incompetence doesn't overly affect my business needs?

Them: There's no reason to get upset, ma'am.

Me: No, I'm not upset. Thanks for your time. [Hangs up and dials FedEx instead, wondering why the USPS is so surprised it's losing ground in the package delivery business. Them and D-H-L, I guess.]

Grrrr,
TJB

[Addendum: And the D-H-L saga continues. They NEVER SHOWED UP. When I called to ask how come (oh, why do I torture myself?), the explanation was that the driver doesn't knock. I'm supposed to leave the package by the door. Well, never having used D-H-L before--and never planning to again--it would have been nice to have that little piece of advice before I hung up from the above conversation. Nowhere in that discussion were the words, "Leave your package by the door, because the driver is too d*mn lazy to get off his seat and let you know he's parked on your street," or something to that effect, uttered. Heck, he could have blown the horn; I'd have been happy to scurry out and lay my offering down on the sidewalk in front of him. After all, I was just sitting there waiting. So, now the gentleman on the phone is explaining that residential pickups only occur between 5 - 7 pm. Coincidentally, it was between 5 - 7 pm as we spoke. I asked why they couldn't come now. He said they weren't in my area, so tomorrow was the day. I said okay and hung up. Just then a knock sounded on my door. "DHL pickup!"

Grrrrrr.]

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Contest news

Just a quick note: The Justice Seeker, my paranormal romance, has been doing well in contests. It received first place in San Francisco RWA's Heart to Heart, second place in Seattle RWA’s Emerald City Opener, and third place in NW Houston RWA’s Lone Star contests. As a collegue stated, "win, place, and show." Yeah!

TJB

Friday, October 13, 2006

Friday, September 15, 2006

"What's past is prologue"

I've been hearing a lot about finding your "core" story, or the theme of your life that you habitually write into your stories over and over again. I've finally figured mine out. If I look back on the four books I've written (well, I'm currently finishing up the fourth--only about 20 pages left to go!)[*Author's Note: It's finished! Critiqued! Spellchecked! Revised!], I realize the theme of each is that those events that occur in our past shape our future. Or, as Shakespeare said, "What's past is prologue." My characters are often people who have had some life changing event, often a tragedy, occur in their youth or formative years. This event changes them forever, sometimes casting them adrift until they learn to search for and find the meaning in their lives. The characters would have been completely different people if it hadn't been for that event, and in the end, it makes them stronger once they learn to overcome it.

This realization hit me out of nowhere, and I must admit it has been the theme of my own life. What's past is prologue, and I tend to think that is true of most people. What was the event of your past that shapes your writing today? Think about it.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Welcome Back!

It’s been so long since I’ve blogged, I momentarily forgot my username and password to get into the post section. Ha! Sorry I’ve been MIA, but I’ve had an absolutely miserable summer. My mom’s been seriously ill, so I’ve flown back home a couple of times to help out. My own health has seen a rapid decline this summer as well. Growing older is hell. But, I'm dealing with it, taking steps to get my health back and my energy up, and, thank God, it's nothing that can't be dealt with. After spending time with my poor mom, it helps to put everything in perspective. Number one task is to get my back strong again, so I'm doing the PT thang right now.

Anyway, I have been productive, even though I haven’t been blogging. My work-in-progress, The Justice Seeker, which I’m estimating is between 50-60 pages away from being finished (yeah!) actually finaled in two contests this summer, the RWA San Francisco Chapter’s Heart to Heart contest (which has kicked my behind every other year I entered it) and the RWA NW Houston Chapter’s Lone Star contest (which I finaled in a couple of years ago with Dreamweaver). I didn't actually enter to final; I entered to test the beginning of the book to make sure I was on target with it. Finaling was a nice by-product. I’ve written about a hundred pages on the book in the last six weeks or so, which is good considering my fearsome schedule.

Take care,

TJB

Sunday, June 25, 2006

"Smallered"

Has anybody else noticed how ink manufacturers are putting less ink into pens these days than they used to? I've thrown away three brand new ink pens in the last week that ran out of ink while I was marking on essays. I finally noticed in the last one that the ink tube was less than half full before I even started writing! It used to be that the ink went up nearly to the top of the tube, with perhaps an inch of air at the tip.

What's up with that? Is this yet another step on the "same size container, but less for your money" road?

It's just like when the chocolate manufacturers started making candy bars just a little bit smaller. They didn't want to raise the price because, frankly, the candy market is very cutthroat and competitive, so they "smallered" the candy.

Anyone else notice anything that has gotten smaller while the cost has stayed the same (or gone up)? Or is it just me?

I can't help feeling there is a life metaphor in there somewhere. When did they "smaller" my hopes and dreams? Our heroes? The Presidency? When did we start expecting to get less, even though we were putting out the same amount?

Okay, I'll stop now.

TJB

Monday, June 05, 2006

New Agent at Firebrand Literary Agency

Hey, I realized I hadn't posted any industry news lately. Not that there isn't any, I just haven't been motivated to post. However, for those of you watching for that sort of thing, here is a tidbit:

There is a new agent at Firebrand Literary Agency. An agency client reports that "Megan Atwood will represent a mix of young adult/children's and adult projects. She is currently acquiring young adult and middle grade fiction books, literary fiction, political/crime fiction thrillers, and nonfiction political books. She is looking for edgy, innovative writing that doesn't overwhelm with adjectives."

Queries can be directed to her via email at megan@firebrandliterary.com.

As I've mentioned before, it's usually a good idea to try to get in on the ground floor with an agent when they are new to an established agency. While the Firebrand agency isn't an "established" agency, there are agents working there who have come from other successful agencies, so it's a good bet.

One note: on the agency's forum (which is pretty cool, by the way), it states that the agency is not a member of AAR (Association of Authors' Representatives). Normally, this would raise a red flag for me; I'm going to be "cautiously optimistic" in this case, however, because of the reputation of the people involved, as well as knowing a couple of their clients personally. The agency has apparently chosen not to become a member because it limits some of the "packaging" they do for their clients. Okay, I'm not sure exactly what that means, but the good news is that they state they do adhere to the guidelines of the AAR, so that may set your mind at ease if it is a concern for you. I would ask questions if you get the opportunity to be offered representation about how any disputes between you and the agency might be handled. Also, it is always a good idea to talk to previous and current clients of the agent before agreeing to be represented. Firebrand does list their clients on their website, so they should be easy to track down.

There. Now you've had your industry fix for the day.

TJB

Sunday, May 28, 2006

One of these days, I’ll let the dog sleep in the bed.

One of these days, I’ll let the dog sleep in the bed.
Why not?
He’s attentive, caring, devoted.
He follows me around with unabashed admiration and curiosity:
“Where are we going now?
What are you eating? Why are we walking to the laundry room?”

I feed him the same thing, every day.
Yet he is so grateful when I put his food in front of him.
No complaints, just a wagging tail and a busy mouth.

When I’m bored, he lets me play with his paws.
I tickle the little bits of fur sticking out between his foot pads
and even though it torments him, he always brings the paw back.
I toss a stuffed toy for him, and he runs and gets it every time.
“Good boy!” I croon, and he listens, even if he’s heard it all before.

When I’m sad
He lets me cling to him for long minutes at a time,
never shifting or restless
or thinking about what else he could be doing at that moment.
He lets me stop hugging first.
Sometimes he even licks my chin.

When I go out the door in the morning, he rushes towards me
in the hope that he can be my companion for whatever the day might bring.
“Can I come, too? I’ll miss you while you’re gone.”
“No,” I have to tell him. “Stay.”
Sometimes I wish I could open the door wide and take him along.
When I come home, he’s waiting in the same spot for me,
so excited to see me he’s dropped everything just to say “hello.”

At night, when I climb into the bed,
He’ll come and nose my hand before he wanders off to his box
He in his place
me in mine.

One of these days, I’ll let the dog sleep in the bed--
A soft snorting companion to my dreams.

TJB

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Haiku

I’m going to be teaching a literature course in the fall, my first ever. It’s been years (none of your business how many) since I earned my masters degree in lit, so I’ve been brushing up a bit. In reading about the poetry genre, I came across the descriptions for haikus, and remembered the haiku poems our teacher had us write in fifth grade. Well, I don’t remember the poems themselves, but in general I remember how much fun they were. Haikus are often like photographs of a moment, captured in present tense word choices. They follow a five-seven-five syllable pattern.

So, just for the heck of it, here are some “picture poems” (as I like to call them) I came up with today.


Haiku #1
A black and white dog
lying helpless and trusting
with his legs spread wide.

Haiku #2
Reaching for ketchup
in the back of the Kenmore.
There isn’t any.

Haiku #3
The scent of mangos
Papayas sweet and shiny
I prefer oranges.


Let’s see some of yours!

TJB